To anybody reading this, this is basically my notice, the official I am moving to Australia announcement!
Our passports arrived in the mail yesterday. And aside from the fact that both Dustin and I look like criminals in a line up in our photos I am excited.
The process of personal belonging elimination began today, wow do I have a LOT of stuff. It is sad to say goodbye to the items that didn't make the cut, but on the other hand I feel a little weight lifted every time I say goodbye to a material item and strip down to the bare bones of reality. I shroud myself in the material, allowing myself to believe that someday some item of tangibility will bring me happiness and peace of mind, and only through this cleansing of sorts am I realizing exactly what this curtain I live behind is really made of. I find myself increasingly overwhelmed at the realization of what is happening, every time I am faced with a decision based upon this giant leap I am about to take my words are followed by a deep sigh of, well, I honestly don't know. I am scared beyond belief, giddy from the tips of my ears to the soles of my feet, and ridiculously saddened at the thought of saying goodbye to my kitties and my mom for a year. I am not quite sure that my brain is wired for this mass of confusion, and thus I wind up feeling like I am on a carousel that just keeps spinning round and round, watching those around me get off and fulfill daily tasks while I just cling to the pony-saddled pole and keep spinning. I don't want anyone to get the idea that I am not grateful for this opportunity, and that I am not clamoring with excitement, because I am. I just need to feel my way through the necessity of the preparation before I imagine myself on a towel, by the ocean, on a beach.
Our passports arrived in the mail yesterday. And aside from the fact that both Dustin and I look like criminals in a line up in our photos I am excited.
The process of personal belonging elimination began today, wow do I have a LOT of stuff. It is sad to say goodbye to the items that didn't make the cut, but on the other hand I feel a little weight lifted every time I say goodbye to a material item and strip down to the bare bones of reality. I shroud myself in the material, allowing myself to believe that someday some item of tangibility will bring me happiness and peace of mind, and only through this cleansing of sorts am I realizing exactly what this curtain I live behind is really made of. I find myself increasingly overwhelmed at the realization of what is happening, every time I am faced with a decision based upon this giant leap I am about to take my words are followed by a deep sigh of, well, I honestly don't know. I am scared beyond belief, giddy from the tips of my ears to the soles of my feet, and ridiculously saddened at the thought of saying goodbye to my kitties and my mom for a year. I am not quite sure that my brain is wired for this mass of confusion, and thus I wind up feeling like I am on a carousel that just keeps spinning round and round, watching those around me get off and fulfill daily tasks while I just cling to the pony-saddled pole and keep spinning. I don't want anyone to get the idea that I am not grateful for this opportunity, and that I am not clamoring with excitement, because I am. I just need to feel my way through the necessity of the preparation before I imagine myself on a towel, by the ocean, on a beach.
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