It has been nearly two months since my last cigarette, and while there are still few minor cravings here and there I am doing fairly well. My lungs are learning to function again, and aside from the few pounds gained I really have no complaints. I always claimed to know what it meant when it was said before that smoking is not just a habit but also a lifestyle, but in all honesty I though it was bogus, I assumed I had a dirty habit, and that once I kicked the habit and the addiction that I would be out of the woods. Well now I understand that those people weren't just blowing steam out of their bums, but were indeed speaking the truth. I find myself sad sometimes at the memories of good times I have had in the past in which those damn nicotine sticks were included, I also find myself wondering how I am supposed to have good times such as those ie. parties and outings, in which smokes are no longer a part of it. It is in moments such as those that I do not have some mind blowing epiphany in which I realize that I am a better and healthier person without them, rather I take a few deep breaths and work my way through it, slowly but surely. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done, and through it all it is not simply being a non-smoker that makes it worthwhile in the end, but knowing that willpower is not a sham, not a ploy to make people such as me with habits feel bad, but knowing that I am capable of making such a monumental change, and knowing that if I can do this, I can do anything really!
Lately I have gotten tired of bitching and moaning about the dissatisfaction I have towards my body, so I decided to do something about it. I decided to once again face the beast in the garage. I must say that while I previously accused this machine as trying to suck out my soul through use of my breath, and referred to it as a demon, I also promised a public apology to the elliptical if I were to find that these claims were figments of my imagination, and while I am not 100% sure that it is not inhabited by Stephen King's Christine, I do realize that alot of my resentment was due in part to me and my excuses. I can not yet claim to enjoy the exercise I endure while on said machine, however I have come a long way. Upon first stepping foot on it I lasted a mere six sad minutes, this later turned to fifteen, then to twenty, and now I am doing forty-five. I still have a long way to go, but damn, the feeling I get when stepping off of it is truly euphoric. My legs feel like wooden planks, my heart feels like it is literally trying to escape my chest, and I smell like a three day old sweat towel, but that feeling, I wouldn't even trade it for an orgasm.
Australia is beautiful, and getting more so by the day as the weather warms and the sun comes out. The warmer weather allows for us to be more adventurous as well, a few weekends ago we had our first contact with kangaroos and koalas, we took a day trip to Mount Lofty/Waterfall Gully with Michelle and Kevin, and what was supposed to be a day filled with discovering the beauty of mother nature and cute and cuddly animals turned into me cursing mother nature and her evil ways, and believing that Emu's are creatures of the devil put here to eliminate human kind. I will attempt to simplify this for shorter reading, but bear with me.
It was a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon and we were taking the twists and turns of road that would lead us to Mount Lofty/Waterfall Gully/Cleland Wildlife Park, this day was promised to be filled with kangaroos, koalas , and other animals of Australia, which in the end it was, however what we had not planned was a mountain climb and a rather aggressive emu. We arrived at Waterfall Gully walked the short way to the first waterfall and took the obligatory photos of us in front of it, then Dustin and I headed up a little further to see the other waterfalls. It only took about ten minutes for me to grow irritable and uncomfortable, and took a mere fifteen minutes for the bitching and whining to ensue. (Now please allow me to explain that I came to pet kangaroos...not climb mountains.)
At this point I found a nice shaded rock to sit on while Dustin ventured a bit further, it was then that Michelle called and said that she and Kevin were going to drive to the top and for us to climb to the top and meet them since we had already gone so far. I should of a this point begged to ride to the the top with them, I should have thrown a temper tantrum, pleaded, anything to get me off of that mountain and into that car, but instead I hung up, found Dustin and together we began to climb. That was a bitch of a climb, and quite honestly I have no idea how the hell I made it without emergency care needed, I will say however that I bitched as though I was POW in a Kathy Lee sweatshop. I should have realized what we had gotten ourselves into when everyone around us was dressed in track pants and tennis shoes, and I was donned in skinny pants and cowboy boots (I even took the time to curl my hair and do my makeup that day).The highlights of our climb, the old couple that kept stopping and sitting yet still managed to keep up pace with us; when the old man looked at me and said "this is the tough part" (at the steepest point) in which I replied back through wheezing breaths "this..huff huff huff....sucks shit...huff huff huff" in which his lady friend replied "I agree"; the point in which I begged Dustin to drag me the rest of the way by my pony tail; the many times in which I wished I would die so that someone, anyone would carry me up; and my favorite, the point in which I declared that Jesus better be waiting at the top for me with a bottle of Fiji water in hand. The view at the top was stunning, and while there was no sign of Jesus my brother in law was kind enough to get me a bottle of water (it wasn't Fiji, but at that point it could have been vodka and I would have chugged it as though it were holy water and I was Hitler begging for forgiveness), and while my face was as red as my first zit, my mascara never ran.
After our climb, we headed to Cleland to see the roos, and kangas, and dingo's (I found out they don't really eat babies, not all the time anyway).
Upon arrival we bought bags of food in which we would use to lure the animals closer to us in order to take batter pictures, and headed out into the park. We saw many amazing things that day, including birds the color of candy, snakes that made me squirm, and alas kangaroos. We also saw emus, I thought these birds seemed docile enough so I decided to approach them a bit more with a handful of food, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a fury of feathers and two knobby legs running my way, it took longer than it should have for me to realize that this beast of an animal was charging at me, but when I did I ran like a lunatic the opposite way. That emu followed me until it was satisfied that I was far enough away and then allowed the other people to feed and pet it. (little bitch) I don't see what Jon Knight sees in those things...lol!
I suppose that about sums up the past month or so for me, I quit smoking, started exercising, and realized that I never again wish to climb a mountain. So on this note I say goodbye.
Cheerio!
Nicole
Lately I have gotten tired of bitching and moaning about the dissatisfaction I have towards my body, so I decided to do something about it. I decided to once again face the beast in the garage. I must say that while I previously accused this machine as trying to suck out my soul through use of my breath, and referred to it as a demon, I also promised a public apology to the elliptical if I were to find that these claims were figments of my imagination, and while I am not 100% sure that it is not inhabited by Stephen King's Christine, I do realize that alot of my resentment was due in part to me and my excuses. I can not yet claim to enjoy the exercise I endure while on said machine, however I have come a long way. Upon first stepping foot on it I lasted a mere six sad minutes, this later turned to fifteen, then to twenty, and now I am doing forty-five. I still have a long way to go, but damn, the feeling I get when stepping off of it is truly euphoric. My legs feel like wooden planks, my heart feels like it is literally trying to escape my chest, and I smell like a three day old sweat towel, but that feeling, I wouldn't even trade it for an orgasm.
Australia is beautiful, and getting more so by the day as the weather warms and the sun comes out. The warmer weather allows for us to be more adventurous as well, a few weekends ago we had our first contact with kangaroos and koalas, we took a day trip to Mount Lofty/Waterfall Gully with Michelle and Kevin, and what was supposed to be a day filled with discovering the beauty of mother nature and cute and cuddly animals turned into me cursing mother nature and her evil ways, and believing that Emu's are creatures of the devil put here to eliminate human kind. I will attempt to simplify this for shorter reading, but bear with me.
It was a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon and we were taking the twists and turns of road that would lead us to Mount Lofty/Waterfall Gully/Cleland Wildlife Park, this day was promised to be filled with kangaroos, koalas , and other animals of Australia, which in the end it was, however what we had not planned was a mountain climb and a rather aggressive emu. We arrived at Waterfall Gully walked the short way to the first waterfall and took the obligatory photos of us in front of it, then Dustin and I headed up a little further to see the other waterfalls. It only took about ten minutes for me to grow irritable and uncomfortable, and took a mere fifteen minutes for the bitching and whining to ensue. (Now please allow me to explain that I came to pet kangaroos...not climb mountains.)
At this point I found a nice shaded rock to sit on while Dustin ventured a bit further, it was then that Michelle called and said that she and Kevin were going to drive to the top and for us to climb to the top and meet them since we had already gone so far. I should of a this point begged to ride to the the top with them, I should have thrown a temper tantrum, pleaded, anything to get me off of that mountain and into that car, but instead I hung up, found Dustin and together we began to climb. That was a bitch of a climb, and quite honestly I have no idea how the hell I made it without emergency care needed, I will say however that I bitched as though I was POW in a Kathy Lee sweatshop. I should have realized what we had gotten ourselves into when everyone around us was dressed in track pants and tennis shoes, and I was donned in skinny pants and cowboy boots (I even took the time to curl my hair and do my makeup that day).The highlights of our climb, the old couple that kept stopping and sitting yet still managed to keep up pace with us; when the old man looked at me and said "this is the tough part" (at the steepest point) in which I replied back through wheezing breaths "this..huff huff huff....sucks shit...huff huff huff" in which his lady friend replied "I agree"; the point in which I begged Dustin to drag me the rest of the way by my pony tail; the many times in which I wished I would die so that someone, anyone would carry me up; and my favorite, the point in which I declared that Jesus better be waiting at the top for me with a bottle of Fiji water in hand. The view at the top was stunning, and while there was no sign of Jesus my brother in law was kind enough to get me a bottle of water (it wasn't Fiji, but at that point it could have been vodka and I would have chugged it as though it were holy water and I was Hitler begging for forgiveness), and while my face was as red as my first zit, my mascara never ran.
After our climb, we headed to Cleland to see the roos, and kangas, and dingo's (I found out they don't really eat babies, not all the time anyway).
Upon arrival we bought bags of food in which we would use to lure the animals closer to us in order to take batter pictures, and headed out into the park. We saw many amazing things that day, including birds the color of candy, snakes that made me squirm, and alas kangaroos. We also saw emus, I thought these birds seemed docile enough so I decided to approach them a bit more with a handful of food, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a fury of feathers and two knobby legs running my way, it took longer than it should have for me to realize that this beast of an animal was charging at me, but when I did I ran like a lunatic the opposite way. That emu followed me until it was satisfied that I was far enough away and then allowed the other people to feed and pet it. (little bitch) I don't see what Jon Knight sees in those things...lol!
I suppose that about sums up the past month or so for me, I quit smoking, started exercising, and realized that I never again wish to climb a mountain. So on this note I say goodbye.
Cheerio!
Nicole
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