So today is day five. It has been five whole entire days since I have had a cigarette. And my mind is doing that crazy "try-to-convince-myself-that-I-can-have-just-one" thing, I however think my mind needs to stuff it!!! I am not going this alone, I have been on Chantix and have that to attribute much of this success to. This is one strange pill let me tell you....as far as side effects go, I thus far have experienced only a few, the first few days I felt a little out of it, a wee bit air-head like, and before I started even taking the pill I came down with some kind of shit cold that is still somewhat lingering in my chest, however I believe the Chantix is to blame for some of the discomfort while sick. Also recently I get a tiny bit nauseous shortly after taking my dose, however I am following the instructions verbatim. Other than those few things though I haven't really experienced much else, and as far as the crazy dreams go, I have had a few strange dreams, but nothing like what others have described, sure I dreamt I danced topless with Marilyn Monroe, but I am known to have insanely odd dreams, perhaps they just can't get any weirder. So there you have it, I took action (finally) and have decided to become a non smoker, I have avoided publicizing it because of fear of failure, but at this point I feel "meh whatever" I am trying damn it and that is what matters.
As for the rest of my life, my mom has been in the hospital again (the fourth time in three months) this time sparking talk of her moving into an assisted living facility. I really never thought I would have to be a part of such a decision, and quite honestly I don't like it at all!!! She is only 68 years old, she is entirely too young to be in a place like that, however the reality of it is that yes she is too young, but life just ain't fair. She is the main drive behind my quit, she smoked for years and years, until coming down with pneumonia and being forced to stop, except that at that point she didn't stop, she just did it in secret. While smoking may not be the main reason for her illness today, it played a damn big part in it, and I am guessing shaved a few precious years off of her life span. So to the tobacco industry and the cigarettes themselves I say a big "SCREW YOU", you can only take so much from me, it ends here!!!
Life in Australia is pretty much the same, except that I hear nicer weather can be expected next month,so in the words of Donnie Wahlberg I say "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO" to that. I have been attempting exercise as best I can lately. When we first arrived here, I tried to use the elliptical in the garage and lasted six (I know this is really sad) minutes before I thought I was going to die. After that great defeat, me and my lungs decided to lay low and sulk for a while. Then a week ago, after realizing just how much my appetite has increased since not smoking, I decided to suck it up and have another go with the demonic machine in the garage. The first time, I am not going to lie, it was sad all over again except that this time I pushed myself to keep going, I cranked up the Zune that was blasting Dirty Dancing in my ears, and low and behold I made it ten minutes. The next time, just me, the New Kids, and that metal devil managed fifteen minutes, and after that twenty. I of course have to keep telling myself that I am not going to die if I keep going, and make a conscious effort to breath, but I am beginning to understand what it means to push oneself. I can not say yet that I enjoy it (I think the only way I really could enjoy it is if Danny Wood stood infront of me with the promise of a smoothie as a reward) but hey, I am trying, the machine still looks a bit demonic to me but I am growing to understand that it has no intention of sucking my soul out in the form of my breath.
I am thinking about taking a class here. They have these things called WEA courses and you can literally take a class on anything from knitting to embalming. So I am thinking something smack in the middle basic knitting for the chic embalmer! Sorry I couldn't help myself, I really am however looking into a course on either web design, photography, or creative writing. Not only am I looking to do this to learn, but also in an effort to make a friend or two, I have learned lately that life is just downright lonely when the only friends you have live at least 10,000 miles away. I adore my boyfriend and my family, but who am supposed to vent to when they are both on my nerves? So friends take this as a warning, I am going to appreciate the hell out of you when I get home!!!! hahaha
I suppose that I have blabbered on enough for one day, so thank you for reading if you made it all the way to the end. I will update later about the whole smoking thing, and I will be sure and post an apology to the elliptical as soon as I see it as something more than a death trap. So on that note I bid you adieu !
As for the rest of my life, my mom has been in the hospital again (the fourth time in three months) this time sparking talk of her moving into an assisted living facility. I really never thought I would have to be a part of such a decision, and quite honestly I don't like it at all!!! She is only 68 years old, she is entirely too young to be in a place like that, however the reality of it is that yes she is too young, but life just ain't fair. She is the main drive behind my quit, she smoked for years and years, until coming down with pneumonia and being forced to stop, except that at that point she didn't stop, she just did it in secret. While smoking may not be the main reason for her illness today, it played a damn big part in it, and I am guessing shaved a few precious years off of her life span. So to the tobacco industry and the cigarettes themselves I say a big "SCREW YOU", you can only take so much from me, it ends here!!!
Life in Australia is pretty much the same, except that I hear nicer weather can be expected next month,so in the words of Donnie Wahlberg I say "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO" to that. I have been attempting exercise as best I can lately. When we first arrived here, I tried to use the elliptical in the garage and lasted six (I know this is really sad) minutes before I thought I was going to die. After that great defeat, me and my lungs decided to lay low and sulk for a while. Then a week ago, after realizing just how much my appetite has increased since not smoking, I decided to suck it up and have another go with the demonic machine in the garage. The first time, I am not going to lie, it was sad all over again except that this time I pushed myself to keep going, I cranked up the Zune that was blasting Dirty Dancing in my ears, and low and behold I made it ten minutes. The next time, just me, the New Kids, and that metal devil managed fifteen minutes, and after that twenty. I of course have to keep telling myself that I am not going to die if I keep going, and make a conscious effort to breath, but I am beginning to understand what it means to push oneself. I can not say yet that I enjoy it (I think the only way I really could enjoy it is if Danny Wood stood infront of me with the promise of a smoothie as a reward) but hey, I am trying, the machine still looks a bit demonic to me but I am growing to understand that it has no intention of sucking my soul out in the form of my breath.
I am thinking about taking a class here. They have these things called WEA courses and you can literally take a class on anything from knitting to embalming. So I am thinking something smack in the middle basic knitting for the chic embalmer! Sorry I couldn't help myself, I really am however looking into a course on either web design, photography, or creative writing. Not only am I looking to do this to learn, but also in an effort to make a friend or two, I have learned lately that life is just downright lonely when the only friends you have live at least 10,000 miles away. I adore my boyfriend and my family, but who am supposed to vent to when they are both on my nerves? So friends take this as a warning, I am going to appreciate the hell out of you when I get home!!!! hahaha
I suppose that I have blabbered on enough for one day, so thank you for reading if you made it all the way to the end. I will update later about the whole smoking thing, and I will be sure and post an apology to the elliptical as soon as I see it as something more than a death trap. So on that note I bid you adieu !
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