Change; Defined: to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone: to change one's name; to change one's opinion; to change the course of history. It seems a simple enough concept, especially staring at the words that form the meaning, in reality it is anything but. I have never been one to readily accept change, sure I adapt as needed, but it is rare that I am the one doing the changing (unless it is forced on me that is). I do not mean that I am content to be in positions in which change is necessary in moving forward, I mean that I find it incredibly daunting to do so. Being comfortable, "content", regardless of the situation can be all encompassing, it is hard sometimes to see that while you are fighting it so hard, that change is already in motion. The the ball is already rolling and you have two choices, either sit still and "fight" it (and chance being mowed down by the boulder sized rolling ball), or pick up your last few shreds of dignity and hope and follow it.
I am following my recent life changes, I am complying with the winds of change, all the while hoping that these winds are blowing me in the right direction. I am accepting the feelings and emotions as they come, I am feeling
them for all that they are worth, knowing that from this comes understanding, that even though some of the steps to where I am today were down right heartbreaking and enraging, that somewhere deep within me I am already stronger. I am not silly enough to insinuate that I have not felt all that I will feel, because I am aware that this road is a long one, however I feel comfortable in saying that I believe it to be one of those roads that is paved with good intentions, and that somewhere at the end of it is total understanding.
Usually, the things in life that hurt the most are the things that teach the most worthwhile lessons (if that weren't the case I would have terribly blistered fingers from always grabbing the hot pot). I wish that pain didn't have to be a part of learning, that heartbreak didn't feel like punishment for loving unconditionally, unfortunately as of late I have realized that I am no different than any other person in terms of pain, we all must feel it. The reasons for such a justification may never be known, the only thing I know is that regardless of how sad I was in the past or how much I feel myself moving forward right now, there is a destination at the end of it all, and while I know that there is indeed a destination the idea of not knowing where it is is both extremely frightening and thoroughly exhilarating.
I am following my recent life changes, I am complying with the winds of change, all the while hoping that these winds are blowing me in the right direction. I am accepting the feelings and emotions as they come, I am feeling
them for all that they are worth, knowing that from this comes understanding, that even though some of the steps to where I am today were down right heartbreaking and enraging, that somewhere deep within me I am already stronger. I am not silly enough to insinuate that I have not felt all that I will feel, because I am aware that this road is a long one, however I feel comfortable in saying that I believe it to be one of those roads that is paved with good intentions, and that somewhere at the end of it is total understanding.
Usually, the things in life that hurt the most are the things that teach the most worthwhile lessons (if that weren't the case I would have terribly blistered fingers from always grabbing the hot pot). I wish that pain didn't have to be a part of learning, that heartbreak didn't feel like punishment for loving unconditionally, unfortunately as of late I have realized that I am no different than any other person in terms of pain, we all must feel it. The reasons for such a justification may never be known, the only thing I know is that regardless of how sad I was in the past or how much I feel myself moving forward right now, there is a destination at the end of it all, and while I know that there is indeed a destination the idea of not knowing where it is is both extremely frightening and thoroughly exhilarating.
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